Why Isn't My Toddler Talking Yet? (5 Skills They Need First)

As an Early Childhood Interventionist, I would guess that about 85% of the toddlers that I have worked with have a communication delay. It is the most common developmental delay impacting 1 of 5 children. What I have found in my many years is that most toddlers who aren't talking yet are missing one or more foundational skills that come before words: engagement, circles of communication, comprehension, initiation, and imitation. Words are built on top of these skills. When you strengthen the foundation at home, you give talking a much better chance to follow.

What are foundational language skills, you may be wondering? Well, I'm glad you asked!

Talking Is Built on a Foundation

Think of words as the top floor of a house. Before a child can say words, the floors underneath need to be in place. These are the five foundational skills I look for:

1. Engagement. Your child pays attention to you and shares attention with you during play. They are engaged with their environment (noticing sounds like a fire engine going by), engaged with objects (playing with toys) and engaged with people.
2. Circles of communication. Circles of communication involve back and forth play, e.g., your child does something - you respond - your child does something again. That is a full loop and we want to build more and more of those into interactions. The longer they stay with us for this type of back and forth, the more language we can teach.
3. Comprehension. It's important to know that our kids can't say words if they don't know what they mean. I can point to a banana to let you know that I want it because I see it. But if you ask me what I want to eat, unless I can see that banana in my head and know the name of it, I can't tell you that's what I want. Working on your child's understanding of words is crucial for them to start building a vocabulary.
4. Initiation. Initiation is when a child takes the lead in communication routines. For example, bringing you their cup when they want more milk. This is where kids learn the power of communication.
5. Imitation. Imitation is a critical part of learning any skill. It is estimated that 85% of children with communication delays are lacking imitation skills. The sequence of imitation that I work on with families is 1) imitating gestures; 2) imitating gestures with sounds; and finally 3) imitating gestures with words. Gestures are a bridge to get to words.

In my experience, when one of these skills is missing, words have a hard time showing up, no matter how much we talk to our kids.

Strategies: How to Build the Foundation at Home

Here are some quick strategies that you can start implementing at home to work on these skills:

• Get face to face. Get down on your child's level and follow their lead in play. It's much easier to engage when you're at eye level.
• Keep the back-and-forth going. Take a turn, then pause and wait for your child to take one. A sound, a gesture, or a push of a car all count.
• Talk about what they're doing. Use simple words to label what your child is looking at or playing with.
• Create small reasons to ask. Put a favorite toy in sight but out of reach, then wait. Give your child the chance to start the interaction.
• Play copy games. Songs with actions are a fun, low-pressure way to practice imitation. (Watch: my favorite song for imitation)
• Wait longer than feels comfortable. Many of us jump in too fast. Those few extra seconds give your child room to respond.

If your toddler isn't talking yet and you want a place to start at home, my 5 Steps to Talking mini-course walks you through these skills, one step at a time.

If you have concerns about your child's speech, reach out to your local early intervention program. You can find your state's program here.

The Bottom Line

To wrap this up, I shared that most toddlers who aren't talking yet are missing one or more foundational skills that come before words: engagement, circles of communication, comprehension, initiation, and imitation. Words are built on top of that foundation, so working on these skills gives talking a much better chance to follow. Get face to face, keep the back-and-forth going, create small reasons for your child to communicate, and wait longer than feels comfortable. And if you have concerns, you don't have to wait and see; reach out to your local early intervention program.

Quick answers

When should I worry that my toddler isn't talking? If you have concerns at any age, trust your gut. You don't have to wait and see; your local early intervention program can evaluate your child and tell you where they are.

Will my toddler just grow out of it? Some toddlers do catch up on their own. But many of the late talkers I've worked with were missing a foundational skill that needed support, so working on these skills now is time well spent.

Can I really help my toddler talk at home? Yes. Everyday play, meals, and routines are some of the best places to build engagement, back-and-forth, and imitation.

Want to know what to look for at each age? Grab my free Speech Milestones Checklist.

Jill Urbane, LCSW, is an early childhood interventionist with nearly three decades of experience working in the homes of families with young children.