Why Is Play So Important for My Toddler's Development?

"Play is often talked about as if it were a relief from serious learning. But for children play IS serious learning. Play is really the work of childhood." – Fred Rogers

This is one of my all-time favorite quotes, and it highlights just how important play is in development. Many parents know play is important, but I don't know that they always understand how deep that learning goes.

I remember taking a group of parents on a tour of the 3-year-old special education preschool classroom I worked with many years ago. A small group of children were happily playing on the floor with blocks, some were at the table with play dough, and others were splashing in the water table. It was beautiful to see how happy and engaged they were!

Afterward, I asked one parent for their impressions, since they were considering the program for their child with speech and social delays. Their response was, "I don't think it's the right fit. All they were doing was playing. I didn't see any of them working on letters, colors, shapes or numbers."

So here's what I want you to know: when your toddler is playing, they ARE learning. What that parent didn't see was all of the learning happening during that play.

What Children Learn Through Play

Let's start by looking at the development behind play. Here are just some of the skills children build while they play:

• Language skills: Play gives children chances to communicate, express themselves and build their language. Learning to ask a peer for a toy or tell a classmate "no" during play is one of the BEST ways to work on language with young children.
• Emotional regulation: Play lets children explore and express their emotions in a safe way, which helps them understand and manage those emotions. That play at the water table? A calming activity that helps them regulate their systems. Same with the play dough. Kids get stressed just like we do, and sensory play lets them release that stress in a calm, safe and fun way.
• Motor skills: Climbing, running and playing with toys all build fine and gross motor skills, which are essential for later academic success and physical well-being. Understand this: EVERYTHING we do as adults sits on the foundation of our sensory and motor planning skills. The more chances we give our children to refine that system, the better off they will be for learning down the road.
• Creativity and imagination: Pretend play, like role-playing or make-believe, stretches creativity and imagination and helps children learn to think outside the box. And did you know that creativity is linked with intelligence?
• Social skills: Playing with others helps children learn sharing, taking turns and teamwork. What that parent didn't see in the preschool classroom were children learning how to negotiate and set boundaries.
• Peer relationships: Play is a natural way for children to make friends and build positive relationships. It takes time and practice to learn how to navigate friendships, and practicing during play leads to stronger learning because more sensory systems are involved.
• Self-discovery: Play lets children discover their interests, preferences and abilities. This is an important part of self-identity and self-esteem!
• Problem-solving: Whether it's building with blocks, doing a puzzle or working out a social situation, children learn to think through problems and find solutions. Play is one of the key ways children build executive functioning skills.
• Academic readiness: Play isn't just about fun. Many cognitive skills built during play, like counting, sorting and grouping things, lay the groundwork for later academic learning.

I want to share an interesting bit of research that really sums up HOW powerful play is for learning. Dr. Karyn Purvis shared that it takes approximately 400 repetitions to create a new synapse in the brain, unless it is done in play, in which case it only takes 10 to 20 repetitions. Isn't that mind-blowing?!

Every Child Plays a Little Differently

It's equally important to understand our children's unique wiring (how they experience the world), because it can help us identify the best way to teach them.

• Sensory-seeking kids often need lots of movement and hands-on play, like climbing, jumping, splashing and squishing. For them, this kind of play helps calm and organize their bodies so they can learn.
• Kids who are sensitive to noise, touch or messes may avoid play dough, sand or busy group play at first. Offering a small amount, or a tool like a spoon or scoop, can help them ease in.
• Cautious or slow-to-warm kids may watch other children play for a long time before they join. That watching is learning, too.

Our own wiring matters as well. If you're anything like me, it's easy to feel like we should be "teaching" something, like letters or colors, instead of "just" playing. Remember that parent on the preschool tour? Letting go of that pressure and simply playing with our kids is one of the best things we can do for their development.

Strategies: How to Give Your Toddler More Learning Through Play

So let's talk about what you can do. Here are some simple strategies you can incorporate into daily routines and playtime to boost your child's learning:

• Make time for sensory play. Water play, play dough and sensory bins help kids calm their bodies and practice fine motor skills.
• Get them moving. Climbing, running and outdoor play build the motor foundation that later learning sits on.
• Join in on pretend play. Feed the baby doll, run a pretend restaurant or build a block tower together. Follow your child's lead and add words as you play.
• Create chances to play with other kids. Playdates, parks and preschool give kids practice with sharing, turn-taking and working things out.
• Repeat, repeat, repeat. Kids learn through repetition, and they learn it faster in play, so don't worry if they want to do the same thing over and over.
• Notice the learning. Next time your child is building a tower or playing with baby dolls, think about what skills they're learning and how those skills will serve them as adults.

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The Bottom Line

Play is how young children learn. Through play, they build language, emotional regulation, motor skills, creativity, social skills, problem-solving and the foundation for school. Every child's wiring shapes how they like to play, so some need more movement and others need to ease in slowly. Making time for sensory, movement, pretend and peer play, and joining in, gives your child powerful learning without flashcards. Play truly is a child's work.

Quick Answers

Why is play important for toddlers? Play is how toddlers learn. It builds language, emotional regulation, motor skills, social skills, problem-solving and early academic skills.

Is it okay if my toddler just plays all day instead of learning letters and numbers? Yes. Play builds the skills toddlers need before letters and numbers, like attention, language and problem-solving.

What kind of play is best for toddler development? A mix is best: sensory play, movement play, pretend play and play with other children. Each one builds different skills.

All my best, Jill

Jill Urbane, LCSW, is an early childhood interventionist with nearly three decades of experience working in the homes of families with young children.