Is My Toddler Ready for Preschool? (The Skills Teachers Say Matter Most)

As parents, we need to always be thinking about what's next for our young children. If you've watched or read any of my other content, you know I call it "big picture parenting," meaning we parent with the end in mind, much like when we plan a vacation. When we go on a trip, we have our destination in mind, and then we get to work plotting our route. Sometimes we need to make adjustments, but we always know where we want to end up, and we work to create a path that gets us there in the quickest, most hassle-free way (fingers crossed!).

If you're thinking about a classroom setting for your child, you are probably thinking about preschool. So here's what I want you to know: being ready for preschool has much less to do with colors, letters and numbers than most parents think. It's about skills like following directions, sitting for a short story, separating from you and handling transitions.

What Preschool Is Really About

Let's start by looking at the development behind preschool readiness. As an Early Childhood Interventionist for nearly three decades, I've learned that many parents focus on the ACADEMICS of preschool. They work hard with their child on colors, letters, shapes and numbers. Having worked in preschool classrooms for many years, I'm going to tell you that there are other, much more important things young children need in place to have a successful transition and build a strong foundation and love for learning.

Preschool is where children learn to be STUDENTS. It's where they learn how school works: the routines, the expectations and so much more. It has less to do with academics and more to do with how we interact, behave and engage with others, and what it means to learn in a school environment.

Every Child Comes to Preschool Differently

It's equally important to understand our children's unique wiring (how they experience the world), because it can help us identify the best way to teach them.

• Movers and shakers (sensory-seeking kids who are always on the go) often find it hard to sit for circle time or a meal. They usually need more movement, and sensory play can help build their attention.
• Cautious or clingy kids may struggle more with being away from you, so they need more practice with short separations.
• Kids who need predictability may have a harder time with the many transitions in a preschool day. Visuals help them know what's coming.
• Your own feelings count too. Children pick up on our emotions. If you feel confident about preschool, it helps your child feel confident too.

Strategies: How to Get Your Toddler Ready for Preschool

I polled the preschool teachers I have worked with over the years, and here are the skills they say help young children start school on the right foot. Here are some simple ways you can practice them in your daily routines:

• Following directions. Preschoolers should be able to follow one- and two-step directions, like "Get your backpack and hang it up." Start practicing with your toddler using one-step directions, like "Get your shoes," with lots of visual cues such as pointing. For more on how to work on this, check out this video.
• Listening to a short story. Your child should be able to sit for a short story, since most preschools include a circle time with a story. Reading to your child regularly and going to story time at your local library are great ways to work on this. If reading to your toddler is a struggle, check out this video.
• Sitting at a table for a meal. Many families have a relaxed breakfast and lunch routine that lets toddlers graze for a long time. It's often a shock for these little ones when they get to school and learn that 1) they need to stay at the table and 2) snack and mealtimes usually last about 15 minutes. Practicing eating at the table for about 20 minutes will help prepare your tot.
• Using utensils independently. Preschoolers should be able to feed themselves with a spoon or fork. Starting early gives young children time to practice a very complex motor planning skill.
• Drinking from an open cup. Most preschools offer water in an open cup, or milk or juice with a straw. Practice during meals in the high chair or at the table using water in a small plastic cup.
• Taking turns. Turn taking needs to be taught. Practice it often during play with your child. Over time, they will understand the idea, which makes it easier to do with friends at school.
• Some pretend play. Not all kids naturally move toward pretend play. Some need to see it first. During play, model daily routines like napping, eating and drinking with dolls or animal figures. To learn more about how play skills develop, check out this video.
• Being away from you. If you plan to send your child to preschool at 3 or 4, start practicing this one early. If your child struggles with separation anxiety, check out this blog post.
• Focusing on a task they enjoy. The average attention span for a 2-year-old is 4 to 6 minutes, and for a 3-year-old, 6 to 8 minutes. If your child struggles to focus, try sensory play like a rice box or water play. Sensory play is a great way to build attention and keep movers and shakers still for a bit.
• Some self-dressing skills. Preschoolers should be able to pull up their own pants and take off and put on their own jackets and shoes. I know it's often easier to rush through getting our toddlers dressed, but try working on these skills as part of your daily routines.
• Being potty trained. Most preschools require students to be potty trained. Having said that, you want to follow your child's lead and watch closely for signs of readiness. You can learn more about those signs in my post When Is My Toddler Ready to Potty Train?
• Handling transitions. Moving from one activity to the next can be hard for young children, and preschoolers should be able to handle several transitions without too much fuss. If your child struggles with transitions, a visual picture schedule can help, and they're often used in preschool classrooms. You can learn more by watching my YouTube video here. It includes a link to my Etsy shop, where you can find my downloadable visual picture schedule.

I go more in depth on this topic in my YouTube video. You can watch it here.

If you want a printable version of this list, grab my free Preschool Readiness Checklist.

The Bottom Line

Your toddler is ready for preschool when they have the skills to be a student, like following simple directions, sitting for a story or meal, taking turns, separating from you and handling transitions. Colors and letters matter much less than parents think. Movers and shakers, cautious kids and kids who need predictability may need extra practice with sitting, separating or transitions. Working on these skills while your child is a toddler will make the move to preschool all the better!

Quick Answers

What should my child know before preschool? Preschool teachers say the most helpful skills are following directions, sitting for a short story, eating at a table, taking turns, dressing and handling transitions, not academics.

Does my toddler need to know colors and letters before preschool? No. Preschool is where children learn to be students. Skills like listening and following routines matter more.

Does my child need to be potty trained for preschool? Most preschools require it, but follow your child's lead and watch for signs of readiness.

All my best, Jill

Jill Urbane, LCSW, is an early childhood interventionist with nearly three decades of experience working in the homes of families with young children.