When Is My Toddler Ready to Potty Train? (And How to Start)

Potty training. Oh, what a journey! As a parent and an Early Childhood Interventionist, I've been bombarded with questions on this tricky topic over the years. The one I hear most? "How do I know if my child is ready?"

So here's what I tell parents: readiness varies from child to child, and there's no one-size-fits-all age. You will see signs when your child is getting ready for potty training. They also need some important developmental skills first: understanding simple directions, the motor skills to get on and off the toilet, and a way to tell you they need to go.

Let's start by looking at the development behind potty training readiness.

Readiness Signs and the Skills Your Child Needs

Readiness signs. You want to be on the lookout for readiness signs like pulling at diapers, increased interest in others using the toilet or hiding when they need to go. Also watch your child's toileting schedule: do they seem to go at the same time every day? This is often a good sign that their body is settling into a routine. Don't worry if they don't, however, as not all kids show toileting regularity (nor do many adults!).

Dry mornings. One of the first things I ask parents when we discuss readiness is whether their child is consistently dry in the morning. If they aren't, their body may not yet be recognizing the important cues and sensations that go with toileting. No worries, they will with time! If they are not dry in the mornings, also think about fluid intake. Are they getting water just before bed? You may want to limit fluids before bedtime to see if they are then dry in the morning. For example, if they go to bed at 8 pm, cut fluids back to 6 or 7 pm. You can also try a sit on the toilet (if they are willing) before hopping into bed. This is actually a great habit to start early on, as it helps prevent overnight accidents in the future. Remember, readiness is a process!

The skills needed for potty training. This one always surprises parents, but toileting involves a great number of developmental skills. Children need to understand instructions, have the motor skills for the job, and be able to communicate. Comprehension is crucial for understanding the potty process. Motor skills are needed for pulling pants up and down, climbing onto a stool and keeping their balance on the toilet.

Bodies, Senses and the Need for Control

It's equally important to understand our children's unique wiring (how they experience the world), because it can help us identify the best way to teach them.

Motor planning and postural security. Many little ones who struggle with motor planning or postural insecurity get frightened or overwhelmed during toileting routines. They must feel safe and secure getting on, sitting on and getting off the toilet. These kiddos often do better on a small, child-sized potty where they can stabilize their bodies with their feet flat on the ground.

Sensory comfort. Toileting is a very sensory experience: a cold seat, the sound of the flush, the feeling of being wet. Some children are more sensitive to these sensations than others. Notice what your child reacts to and adjust (like letting them leave the room before the flush) so the bathroom feels safe.

The need for control. Young kids are ALWAYS looking for ways to keep control. The more we push them on things, the more they push back. Potty training is one area where they truly are in charge, which is why pressure so often backfires.

Your energy, too. Consistency and patience are a key part of potty training. If your well is running empty, it is going to be harder to show up the way you need to. Timing matters for you as much as for your child.

So let's talk about what you can do.

Strategies: How to Start Potty Training

Now that you have noticed the readiness signs and know your child has the skills they need, here are some simple strategies you can incorporate into daily routines to make potty training smoother:

1. Build early body awareness. This strategy starts in the readiness stage and continues until your child is using the toilet independently. Label your child's actions, like hiding, doing the "I gotta pee" dance or touching their diaper. The goal is to help them recognize their body's sensations. Keep it simple and fun, and carry the labeling over to your own toileting or the family pet's. We are building a pathway in the brain that connects body sensations to using the toilet, and REPETITION IS KEY!
2. Normalize it at home. Build a positive association around toileting. Have your little one join you when you go. Let them handle the flushes. Talk about how much better you feel AFTER you've gone. Get books on the subject. Bring the theme into play with teddy bears and baby dolls, and point it out in shows or when your pet goes. You are helping them see it as something everyone does!
3. Use a visual picture schedule. For kids who struggle with understanding directions, a visual picture schedule for the toileting routine can help them learn the steps. I have a visual picture system that includes a picture schedule in my Etsy shop. If you're unfamiliar with visual picture schedules and their benefits for young kids, check out this video.
4. Try the nudie pants technique. You're probably familiar with this old-school approach where your child roams with a bare bottom. The idea is that the discomfort of the mess may motivate them to use the potty. Many parents report success after only a few days. As with every strategy, though, you have to find one that fits both you and your child, and the messes may not be something every parent is comfortable with. If you're going to do it, I suggest doing it when the weather is warm and investing in a Bissell Green Machine for your carpets!
5. Pair a potty schedule with routines. Many parents have their child sit on the toilet once every hour. If that works for you and your child, go for it. If your child is fighting it, back off. You don't want this to become a power struggle. Instead, I suggest pairing potty time with daily routines. For example, we sit on the toilet when we get up, then we wash our hands, brush our teeth and get dressed. Or we go potty and wash our hands before sitting down for snacks or meals. When it's part of a routine, it becomes a habit rather than a chore. And if you pair it with meals and snacks, your little one will likely sit on the toilet about every 2–3 hours. A perfect toileting schedule!
6. Throw a potty party. This is by far my favorite strategy because it creates a positive association with the whole process. We did this with our daughter and she LOVED it! A potty party is a celebration every time your child sits on the toilet, even if they don't go. Put together a potty party box with fun items like blowers and hats. When your child sits on the toilet, pull out the box and get everyone to join the party. We made up a silly little song for the celebration (music is a powerful motivator!). Our daughter loved all the positive attention so much that she actually dragged US to the bathroom so she could sit on the toilet. Wouldn't it be great if your kid did that?! To move toward actually GOING on the toilet, we added bubbles: if she went, the potty party became a bubble party. It didn't take long before she was going on the toilet. As she used it more consistently, we moved the celebration to AFTER she had gone and moved the box out to the living area. Eventually we just did a bubble party, and after a while, just high fives. That gradual fade means you won't be throwing potty parties when your child is five!

This or That? Common questions. Okay, you've got some strategies to try, but what about all the different options? Here are my thoughts from experience:

• Diapers, pull-ups or cloth underwear? It really comes down to personal preference. I personally feel that going right from diapers to cloth underwear gives a tangible experience with the "ick" factor, which can help motivation. Diaper companies have done such a great job of keeping kids comfortable that there's little reason for them to want the diapers off! We went right to training underwear like this. It gave enough absorption with just the right amount of ick (the ick factor is key). We added these plastic diaper covers for nighttime and outings.
• Potty seat or child-size potty? This largely depends on the child. Some kids are just plain scared of the big toilet, so follow their lead. My preference is always to TRY starting on the big toilet with a safe, sturdy seat insert like this one. I really like the ones with side handles so little ones can balance themselves. It's also important to have a stool for their feet for added postural security, like this one, which can also be used at the sink. Just make sure your child's feet can reach the top step while seated on the toilet.
• Stickers and bribes? In my experience, stickers, charts and bribes don't work in the long run. You may see some short-term success, but the long-term goal is for your child to use the toilet independently because it's just something they need to do. No rewards. No fluff. External rewards don't build intrinsic motivation. I have a whole video on this topic that you can watch here. Now you may be asking, "But Jill, you suggested a visual picture schedule. Isn't that the same thing?" No! A visual picture schedule is not a reward system. Think of it as a young child's daily planner. Many of us use planners as adults to map out our day, our to-dos, work meetings and chores. A visual picture schedule is a visual map of your child's day. See the difference?

Tips for success. Before we wrap up, here are a few tips as you navigate potty training with your child:

• No pressure or punishment. First and most important, keep the process natural, supportive and pressure-free. Put yourself in their shoes: how would you want someone to support you while learning this skill? And I think it goes without saying (but I'm going to say it anyhow), there should never be punishment for accidents! Accidents are part of learning. Compassion, support and coaching are always your most effective approaches.
• Easy clothing. Choose clothing that helps your child be independent. Skip the onesies and sassy button-up jeans and go for lightweight pants your little one can pull up and down with little to no help.
• Choose the right time. Start potty training when you have the time and energy to be consistent. If you're stretched thin with a big project at work, or your partner will be out of town or working long hours for the next month, you may want to hold off. Also avoid starting during big life changes, like the loss of a pet, a two-week vacation, starting a new school or a loved one moving away. These events are hard enough for some kids, and adding potty training on top can be a recipe for disaster. Start when their buckets are full so they can be a more willing participant.

I go more in depth on this topic in my YouTube video. You can watch it here.

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The Bottom Line

Your toddler is ready to potty train when they show readiness signs like dry mornings, hiding to go or interest in the toilet, and have the skills to understand directions, move their bodies and communicate their needs. Kids who feel unsteady or sensitive in the bathroom need a setup that feels safe, and every child needs to feel some control over the process. Keep it positive with routines, visuals and a potty party, and skip the pressure and punishment. Remember, happy brains are more motivated to learn!

Quick Answers

What are the signs my toddler is ready to potty train? Look for pulling at diapers, hiding when they need to go, interest in others using the toilet, going at regular times and staying dry in the mornings.

Should I use pull-ups or underwear? It's personal preference. Going straight to training underwear gives kids the "ick" feeling that can help motivate them, while pull-ups keep them very comfortable.

Do sticker charts help with potty training? They may help in the short term, but external rewards don't build lasting, internal motivation. A positive, pressure-free routine works better over time.

All my best, Jill

Jill Urbane, LCSW, is an early childhood interventionist with nearly three decades of experience working in the homes of families with young children.