How Do I Get Rid of My Toddler's Pacifier? (Without Losing Your Mind)

I frequently get asked by parents for tips on getting rid of the pacifier. It's a daunting and overwhelming process for both parent and child. I firmly believe that once the process is started, parents need to see it through, no matter what. This is for the sake of your little one.

Think about it from their perspective: they have a strong emotional connection to the pacifier. The parent takes it away, they get upset, the parent gives it back, the parent takes it away again, rinse and repeat. How confusing and upsetting is that? And I know that is the LAST thing we as parents want for our kids!

Taking the pacifier away is like ripping off a bandaid: do it once, help your child through the hard part with lots of emotional support, and eventually they will move on. I don't know many kindergartners who still use a pacifier... just saying.

Why Toddlers Get So Attached to the Pacifier

For babies, sucking is one of the very first ways they learn to calm themselves. The pacifier becomes linked with sleep, comfort, and feeling safe.

As children grow into toddlers, that connection doesn't just disappear. The pacifier is often how they handle being tired, upset, or in a new place. So when it goes away, your child isn't just losing an object. They're losing one of their go-to ways to feel better.

That's why their big reaction makes sense. Your job isn't to stop the feelings. It's to help them through the feelings and learn new ways to calm down.

Why Some Kids Have a Harder Time Letting Go

For some kids, the pacifier becomes a solution to a sensory need. These are the littles who rely on sucking and mouthing more than others to feel calm. They often prefer chewy, crunchy foods or frequently put non-food items in their mouths. For them, giving up the pacifier can be extra hard, and they'll need another way to get that input.

Temperament can play a role too. Kids who are slow to adapt to change, or who have very intense feelings, may protest longer and louder when you try to take away the pacifier.

And one word of advice: watch your own nervous system. If you're dreading the crying, it's tempting to give in. Getting yourself ready to stay calm and consistent is a big part of making this work.

Strategies: How to Get Rid of the Pacifier

Pick your timing. Choose a stretch when life is fairly calm. Avoid starting during big changes like a move, a new baby, starting daycare, or illness.

Prepare your house. Scour the house and find ALL the pacifiers before you start the process of eliminating them. Toddlers are smart! They will go through every toy box, couch cushion and drawer to find a beloved paci. You don't want to have to keep restarting this process so for your sake and theirs, do a deep paci search first.

Prepare your child. Use simple words a few days ahead: "Soon, the pacis are going bye-bye. You're getting so big!" Some families read a book about it or have their child "give" the pacifiers to someone.

Decide on your approach. Some families go cold turkey. Others start by limiting the pacifier to naps and bedtime first, then remove it completely. Either way, once it's gone, it stays gone.

Offer a replacement for comfort. A special stuffed animal, a soft blanket, extra cuddles, or a new bedtime song can help fill the gap.

Give their mouth something else. For kids who crave mouth input, crunchy snacks, drinking from a straw, or blowing bubbles can help.

Expect a few hard days. Bedtime may be tough for a little while. Stay calm, stay close, and offer lots of comfort.

Stay consistent. Don't give the pacifier back. It's harder in the moment, but it's kinder in the long run.

Remember, you've got this!

The Bottom Line

In closing, a reminder that toddlers get attached to the pacifier because it's one of their go-to ways to calm down, so giving it up means losing a comfort tool, not just an object. Kids who crave mouth input or who are slow to adapt to change may have a harder time letting go. Pick a calm stretch, find ALL the pacis first, prepare your child, and offer new ways to get comfort and mouth input. Most importantly, once it's gone, it stays gone. It's harder in the moment, but kinder in the long run. You've got this!

Quick Answers

What's the best way to take away a pacifier? Pick a calm time, prepare your child ahead, choose cold turkey or a gradual approach, and then stay consistent. Lots of comfort and a replacement soothing tool make the transition easier.

How long does it take a toddler to adjust without a pacifier? It varies from child to child, but the hardest part is usually the first few days, especially at bedtime. Staying consistent helps it pass faster.

Should I give the pacifier back if my toddler is really upset? Try not to. Giving it back and taking it away again is confusing and usually makes the process longer and harder. Comfort your child through the feelings instead.

Get My Free Tantrum Tamer Guide

Giving up the pacifier can bring some big feelings. My free Tantrum Tamer Guide gives you simple steps to stay calm and help your child through the meltdowns.

All my best, Jill

Jill Urbane, LCSW, is an early childhood interventionist with nearly three decades of experience working in the homes of families with young children.