Does My Toddler Understand What I'm Saying? (Why Comprehension Comes Before Words)

Comprehension is one of the areas I REALLY focus on when working with families, because I feel it is often overlooked. By that I mean, parents tend to spend more energy getting their toddlers to use words, when they need to be putting more energy into their understanding.

So I want you to hear this: kids can't say words if they don't know what they mean. Understanding comes first, and when we build it, we give talking a much better chance to follow.

Why Understanding Comes Before Talking

Let's start by looking at the development behind comprehension. Comprehension is our understanding of spoken language. It's the third of the five foundational skills I talk about in Why Isn't My Toddler Talking Yet? (5 Skills They Need First).

Here's an example I like to use: I can point to a banana to let you know that I want it because I see it. But if you ask me what I want to eat, unless I can see that banana in my head and know the name of it, I can't tell you that's what I want.

That's why working on your child's understanding of words is so crucial. Signs that comprehension is growing include:

• Looking at a person or object when you name it
• Responding to their name
• Following simple directions that are part of a routine, like "get your shoes"
• Pointing to familiar things when you ask "where's the ball?"

Why Some Toddlers Seem Not to Understand

It's equally important to understand our children's unique wiring (how they experience the world), because it can help us identify the best way to teach them.

• Toddlers who are sensitive to noise may tune out in loud, busy spaces, so it can look like they aren't understanding when they're really overwhelmed.
• Sensory-seeking toddlers are often on the move, which can make it hard for them to stop and process what we're saying.
• Visual learners often understand more when we pair our words with gestures, pointing or real objects.

Our own habits matter too. Many of us talk a lot, and fast, especially when we're rushed. Long sentences can be hard for little ones to follow. Slowing down and using fewer words makes it much easier for them to understand.

Strategies: How to Build Your Toddler's Understanding

Here are some simple strategies you can incorporate into daily routines and playtime to build comprehension:

• Label what they're looking at. Name the things your child is already interested in, in that moment.
• Keep it short. Use one or two words, or short phrases, like "ball" or "big ball."
• Pair words with gestures. Point, show and use simple actions as you talk.
• Use routines. Say the same words during bath, meals and getting dressed so your child hears them again and again.
• Give simple, one-step directions. Start with ones that are part of a routine, and show your child what to do if they need help.
• Play "show me" games. Ask "where's your nose?" or "show me the dog" in a playful, low-pressure way.
• Turn down the noise. Turn off the TV during playtime so your child can focus on your words.

I go more in depth on this topic in my YouTube video. You can watch it here.

If your toddler isn't talking yet and you want a place to start at home, my 5 Steps to Talking mini-course walks you through the first steps, one at a time.

If you have concerns about your child's speech or language development, reach out to your local early intervention program. You can find your state's program here.

The Bottom Line

Comprehension, or understanding spoken language, is a foundational skill that comes before words, because kids can't say words if they don't know what they mean. Sensory needs and learning style can affect how easily a toddler takes in what we say, and so can how much and how fast we talk. Labeling what they're interested in, keeping words short, pairing words with gestures and using daily routines all help. The more words your child understands, the more words they'll have ready when talking starts to take off.

Quick Answers

How do I know if my toddler understands me? Watch whether they look at things when you name them, respond to their name, and follow simple routine directions like "get your shoes."

Why is comprehension so important for talking? Kids can't say words if they don't know what they mean. Understanding builds the vocabulary they'll use later.

My toddler understands everything but won't talk. Is that normal? Many toddlers understand much more than they can say. If you have concerns, your local early intervention program can take a look at where your child is.

Want to know what to look for at each age? Grab my free Speech Milestones Checklist.

All my best, Jill

Jill Urbane, LCSW, is an early childhood interventionist with nearly three decades of experience working in the homes of families with young children.