How Does Play Help My Toddler Learn to Talk? (The 4 Types of Play)

Parents will sometimes share their frustration that their toddler always seems to melt down when they get home from work. I remember those days well, so I get it. But you know what? Our littles have been working all day too! And I dare say they often work harder than we do.

I love this quote by Mr. Rogers: "Play is often talked about as if it were a relief from serious learning. But for children play is serious learning. Play is really the work of childhood." Amen to that.

So I want you to hear this: play has a HUGE impact on toddler language development and learning in general. Play is the foundation that learning is built on. Despite this, many parents aren't aware of how play skills develop, and to be fair, there isn't much talk about it in parenting books and articles.

The Types of Play

Let's start by looking at the development behind play. Play can be broken down into two areas: the TYPES of play, which I'll cover here, and the SOCIAL STAGES of play, which I cover in another post.

Just as a child must walk before they run, they go through different types of play. Kids don't just magically start pretend play. It comes after lots of repeated experiences with each of the other types of play first. Here are the TYPES of play:

• Exploratory play. Your child explores toys and objects with their senses: mouthing, shaking, banging and dropping to find out what things do.
• Relational play. Your child starts putting objects together, like putting blocks in a bucket, stacking cups or putting a lid on a pot.
• Functional play. Your child uses toys the way they're meant to be used, like pushing a car, holding a phone up to their ear or stirring with a spoon.
• Symbolic play. This is pretend play, where one thing stands for another, like a block becoming a phone or feeding a baby doll.

So how does this connect to talking? Play is where toddlers practice paying attention, taking turns and sharing a focus with you. When you and your child are both looking at and playing with the same thing, that's called joint attention, and it's one of the building blocks of language. And the more purposeful and meaningful play becomes, the more there is to talk about.

How Sensory Needs Shape Play

It's equally important to understand our children's unique wiring (how they experience the world), because it can help us identify the best way to teach them. Every child's sensory system shapes how they play. Some toddlers stay in exploratory play longer because they love the feel of mouthing and banging toys. A sensory seeker may move from toy to toy so quickly that it's hard to settle into play together. A child who is sensitive to certain textures or noises may avoid messy play or loud toys altogether.

None of this is "bad." It just tells us where to meet our child. You can learn more about sensory seekers and sensory avoiders in my post on the sensory system.

Strategies: How to Make Playtime Count for Language

So let's talk about what you can do. Here are some simple strategies you can incorporate into playtime to build both play skills and language.

• Notice what type of play your child is in. Watch how your child plays with their toys and start there. If they are mostly exploring, explore with them before expecting pretend play.
• Get down on the floor and join in. You are your child's favorite toy! Playing alongside them makes it so much easier to build joint attention.
• Follow your child's lead. Play with what interests them. A child who is interested is a child who is ready to learn.
• Show them the next step. Model the next type of play. If your child is banging blocks together, show them how to put the blocks in a bucket. If they're pushing a car, drive it to the "garage."
• Talk about what you're doing. Add simple words and sounds as you play, like "in!" "out!" "vroom!" or "up, up, up!"
• Keep it fun. Play should be enjoyable for both of you. Happy brains are more motivated to learn!

I go more in depth on this topic in my YouTube video. You can watch it here.

Want to know if your toddler is on track? Download my free Speech Milestones Checklist.

If you have concerns about your child's speech, reach out to your local early intervention program for support.

The Bottom Line

Play is how toddlers learn, and it lays the foundation for language. Children move through exploratory, relational, functional and symbolic play, and each type builds on the one before. Your child's sensory system can shape how they play, so start where they are, join in, follow their lead and gently show them the next step. Play truly is a child's work.

Quick Answers

How does play help toddlers learn to talk? Play gives toddlers practice with attention, turn-taking and sharing a focus with you (joint attention), which are building blocks for language. It also gives you lots of chances to model words.

What are the four types of play? The four types are exploratory (exploring with the senses), relational (putting objects together), functional (using toys as intended) and symbolic (pretend play).

When do toddlers start pretend play? Pretend play comes after lots of practice with the earlier types of play. Kids don't just magically start it, so meet your child where they are and model the next step.

All my best, Jill

Jill Urbane, LCSW, is an early childhood interventionist with nearly three decades of experience working in the homes of families with young children.