What Are Circles of Communication? (And How They Help Your Toddler Talk)

What are circles of communication, and why are they so important to toddler language development? This is a term I use all the time with families, and it's one of the five foundational language skills toddlers need before words.

So here's the simple answer: a circle of communication is one full loop of back-and-forth between you and your child. The more of those loops we can build into play, the more language we can teach.

What Is a Circle of Communication?

Let's start by looking at the development behind circles of communication. A circle of communication involves back-and-forth play. Your child does something, you respond, and your child does something again. That is a full loop, and we want to build more and more of those into interactions.

Here's what that might look like:

1. Your child pushes a car to you.
2. You say "vroom!" and push it back.
3. Your child pushes it to you again.

That's one circle! A circle doesn't need words. A look, a sound, a gesture or a push of a car all count.

This matters because conversation is just a string of circles. The longer our kids stay with us for this type of back-and-forth, the more language we can teach. Circles of communication are the second of the five foundational skills I share in Why Isn't My Toddler Talking Yet? (5 Skills They Need First).

Why Some Toddlers Drift Away After One Turn

It's equally important to understand our children's unique wiring (how they experience the world), because it can help us identify the best way to teach them.

• Sensory-seeking toddlers may move on quickly because their bodies are craving more movement. Back-and-forth games that include movement, like rolling a ball, bouncing or chase, can help them stay in the loop longer.
• Sensitive toddlers may disengage when play gets too loud or too fast. Slowing down and using a softer voice can help.
• Toddlers with a high need for control may want to play their way, and only their way. Following their lead and joining their play, rather than redirecting it, keeps them in the circle.

Our own pace matters too. Many of us jump in too fast, ask a lot of questions, or take over the play. When we slow down and leave space, our child has room to take their turn.

Strategies: How to Build More Circles of Communication

Here are some simple strategies you can incorporate into daily routines and playtime to build more back-and-forth:

• Follow their lead. Start with what your child is already doing, and join in.
• Take a turn, then wait. After your turn, pause and look at your child expectantly. Wait longer than feels comfortable.
• Respond to everything. A sound, a look or a gesture is a turn. Respond to it like it's a conversation.
• Play simple turn-taking games. Rolling a ball, stacking blocks, pushing a car back and forth and peekaboo all create natural circles.
• Add a little playful obstruction. Gently block the car's path or hold the next block for a second. Your child has to respond to you to keep the game going.
• Count the circles. Try to add just one more circle each time you play. Small steps add up!

I go more in depth on this topic in my YouTube video. You can watch it here.

If your toddler isn't talking yet and you want a place to start at home, my 5 Steps to Talking mini-course walks you through the first steps, one at a time.

If you have concerns about your child's speech or language development, reach out to your local early intervention program. You can find your state's program here.

The Bottom Line

A circle of communication is one full loop of back-and-forth: your child does something, you respond, and your child responds again. Some toddlers drift away after one turn because of their sensory needs or a high need for control, and our own pace plays a part too. Following their lead, taking a turn and then waiting, and playing simple turn-taking games all help build more circles. Every extra circle is a little more practice for conversation, and you can do this in everyday play. You've got this!

Quick Answers

What is a circle of communication? It's one full loop of back-and-forth between you and your child. Your child does something, you respond, and your child responds again.

Do circles of communication need words? No. A look, a sound, a gesture or a push of a toy all count as a turn.

How can I get my toddler to take more turns? Follow their lead, take your turn, and then wait. Giving your child time to respond is one of the most powerful things you can do.

Want to know what to look for at each age? Grab my free Speech Milestones Checklist.

All my best, Jill

Jill Urbane, LCSW, is an early childhood interventionist with nearly three decades of experience working in the homes of families with young children.