How Can I Teach My Toddler to Talk at Home? (10 Simple Tips)

Have you got your sights set on getting your toddler to FINALLY start talking? Getting to those first words can be daunting. Perhaps you find yourself saying things like...

What I'm doing isn't working. I've tried everything. I'm not able to teach my child to talk.

Sound familiar? Thoughts like these are common when you're doing all the things but not seeing change. It can really make us doubt ourselves as parents.

And I understand this not only as an Early Childhood Interventionist of nearly three decades, but also as a mom. My daughter had only 2-3 words at 18 months. Our son was an early talker, but the things we tried with our daughter didn't seem to be working. I felt like a failure as a mom. I knew, however, that as her parent, I had the relationship, time, and opportunity to be the most effective teacher of speech. What I lacked was the knowledge of how.

Since then, I've learned a lot, and I am here to share it with you. So here are 10 simple tips for teaching your toddler to talk at home. My hope is that you'll be able to avoid some of the common pitfalls that I see many parents encounter, myself included.

Let's begin where I always start: development...

How Language Grows in Young Children

Understanding development is one of the most useful tools we can have in our parenting toolbox. This is true whether we are talking about motor skills, social-emotional development, or language.

When we understand how speech skills develop, we are able to meet our child where they are. When we don't, we try strategies that are too advanced, leading to frustration for our child and us.

Repetition is crucial for learning in the early years. For example, they estimate that a child will need to hear a word anywhere between 200 and 500 times before they will understand its meaning! And imitation is a crucial skill for language development and one of the things most young children get stuck on. As a matter of fact, 85% of children with speech delays struggle with imitation skills.

I have MANY videos on my YouTube channel where I share information on toddler speech development. You can check out my speech playlist here.

The Language Dimmer Switch

Language is like a light that is on a dimmer switch. Some kids come out with it turned all the way up (like my son). For others, it is turned way down (like my daughter). These kids are really good at figuring out other ways to get their needs met, e.g., using gestures, tantrums, etc.

There's also a social-emotional piece. Toddlers are going through a developmental stage that pretty much hard-wires their brains to do the opposite of what we say. This is why when we tell them not to touch the TV, they look square at us while their tiny fingers move towards the screen. Keep that in mind, because it matters a lot for tip #5.

Now, let's get into the tips...

Strategies: 10 Simple Tips for Teaching Your Toddler to Talk

#1. Build your understanding of how language develops. When you know where your child is, you can choose strategies that fit. You may benefit from checking out my free Speech Milestones Checklist. It will help you better determine what skills to work on with your child.

#2. Target specific words to start. I encourage parents to target specific, meaningful words with their child. Which words? It depends on your child. It needs to be something that is of interest or use to them. For example, if your child frequently wants to be picked up and held throughout the day, target the word "up." If you live near the airport and your child loves to look for the planes, target "plane" as you point to or make an airplane gesture.

Targeting gives you opportunities to work on:

• Repetition, which is crucial for learning in the early years.
• Joint attention. Joint attention is crucial for the development of communication skills. It establishes the basis for understanding that words and gestures can refer to objects and events in the environment. It also helps children learn that communication is a two-way process involving both sending and receiving messages.
• Imitation. Pairing a word with a gesture increases the likelihood of imitation, which is where many kids get stuck on their language journey. More on that in a bit...
• Consistency. I often tell parents that if you try to work on everything, you will achieve nothing. Targeting the same 1-2 words every day makes it much easier to be consistent, which means more learning for your child.

Not sure which words to target? Check out this YouTube video where I discuss functional communication and the difference between core and fringe words.

#3. Label objects of interest frequently. Remember what I said about repetition? You want to label familiar objects frequently throughout the day. The key is to make sure it is something your child is interested in or that is part of the current interaction. For example, if your child is playing with toy cars, showing him the ball and naming it frequently is probably going to be ineffective. It would make more sense to label the cars, e.g., car, truck, digger.

Pro Tip: The hardest thing about this strategy is remembering to do it! That's why I suggest putting up visual reminders, e.g., a sticky note above the changing table that says "LABEL."

#4. Always, always, always follow your child's lead. Young children are egocentric. You are going to get more bang for your buck by following their lead than trying to get them to follow yours.

Imagine you are washing dishes at the sink and someone comes in and says, "No, we are going to do this over here." Most of us would feel 1) compelled to finish our task before moving on to the next and 2) a bit annoyed that this person seems unconcerned with what we are currently doing. If this person did this frequently, we would probably not want to hang out with them after a while.

We don't want to make language routines unpleasant for our kids. So, JOIN your child's play. Be a keen observer of their body language during interactions. Kids are really good at letting us know what they do and do not like. When you acknowledge this, it sends the message that you "get them." Over time, this increases the likelihood that they begin to follow your lead, giving you more opportunities to model and teach words.

#5. Avoid telling your child to say words at all costs. I wish I had a dollar for every time I've heard "say ball" or "use your words" on a home visit with a toddler with a speech delay. I'd be a rich woman! If your child had the words and understood the benefits of using them, he would!

Remember that social-emotional stage? When you tell your little one to "say" this or "use" their words, the little control alarm in their brain goes off saying "don't do it."

What I encourage parents to do instead is ASK their child to say words. This gives the child a choice, something I find leads to much more cooperation. For example, if your child is pointing to the sink while handing you his cup, you would ask "water?" If your child smiles and nods yes, fill their cup, and as you hand it to them say, "Water! Can you say water?" If your child imitates, cool! If they don't, say "That's okay, I don't care if you do it" (a challenge to most toddlers!). When we take the pressure off, even the most stubborn kid will eventually start imitating.

The key here is to take the pressure off, model simple words clearly, and be patient. You may also benefit from my video on toddler social-emotional stages, which you will find here.

#6. Upgrade your daily routines. Daily routines are one of the BEST ways to teach language to young children. They give you that much-needed repetition, and they also create situations where young children are more inclined to express a want or need.

For example, if you want your child to say "more," you can work it into meals and snacks if they are highly motivated by food. Rather than giving them ALL the goldfish crackers, maybe you only offer 3-4. When they've finished them and reach for the bag in your hands, you can model, "Oh, you want more? Can you say more?"

Other ways to upgrade your daily routines:

• Label clothing items during dressing
• Label body parts during bathtime
• Incorporate songs and fingerplays into bathtime
• Play "where's the ______" games during book time, focusing on pictures of things your child enjoys, such as dogs or cars
• Put favorite toys such as cars or blocks in clear plastic containers with screw-on lids so they have to bring them to you for help

Working just one strategy into meals or snacks is like having five to six little therapy sessions with your child. Add that up over days and weeks, and you can see how language strategies in daily routines lead to more learning.

#7. Become the noisy parent. Becoming the noisy parent can help spark your child's imitation of sounds and words. Pair sounds with your actions during play and daily routines, like saying "pop" while popping bubbles or "beep beep" while pushing a car across the floor. Most children will imitate the gesture. The key is to pair the sounds with THEIR gestures until they do it on their own. This is how they learn to put the gesture AND the sound together.

I often tell parents that gestures are a bridge to words. The more sounds and words we pair with our gestures and our children's, the more imitation we will see. Want the most bang for your buck? Incorporate songs and fingerplays into daily routines! Check out this short YouTube video where I share my favorite fingerplay for working on imitation with toddlers.

#8. Focus on comprehension. Comprehension doesn't get as much airplay as expressive language, but it's equally, if not more, crucial. You see, I can't use words if I don't know what they mean. I may be able to tell you I want an apple when I see it in front of me, but if I can't point to it in a picture book when asked or find it in the kitchen, I haven't truly grasped that the word apple represents the object.

The more words your child understands, the larger their vocabulary will grow. Here are some ways to work on comprehension:

• Play "where's the ___" games with things they know, e.g., their shoes or cup
• Have them point to familiar pictures when looking at books
• Work on simple directions with familiar objects, e.g., "get your shoes" while pointing to the shoes
• Play Stop and Go games
• Work on identifying body parts

When working on comprehension, I encourage parents to give lots of praise in the form of "good listening!" when their child is successful. Why not start early to help our little ones understand that listening is highly valued by grown-ups, right?

#9. Don't make it too easy for them. They estimate that 93% of communication is tone of voice and body language, meaning only 7% is the words we use. This is why little ones can be so effective at communicating their wants and needs without ever saying a word! I can't tell you how many times I've seen a toddler throw their cup on the floor only to have the parent hop up and get them a refill.

It's important for little ones to take more of a lead in expressing their wants and needs. For this to happen, we have to stop making things so easy for them. With the empty cup, I would encourage the parent to wait and see if their child picks the cup up and brings it to them (a higher level of communication), and THEN go fill it up after modeling a word such as "more" or "milk." If the child walks away, they didn't want it badly enough to put the work in, and that's okay.

So, the next time you suspect your child is going to want something, e.g., more food, more drink, a different toy, I encourage you to WAIT before doing anything. If they really want the thing, they need to take some sort of action to let you, as their communication partner, know. THIS is how they learn the power of communication.

#10. Always make communication fun. The more positive feelings associated with an activity, the stronger the learning. This is why songs and fingerplays are so powerful with young children. It's hard not to be happy when singing a silly song! If working on imitating sounds or words during playtime is fun, they are going to want to do it during other routines too.

As parents, it means we have to take more of a play partner role than a teacher role, i.e., being silly, lighthearted, playful, and spontaneous. I promise you, your child will be more receptive to communicating if you do!

If you have concerns about your child's speech, reach out to your local early intervention program. You can find your state's program here.

The Bottom Line

To summarize, teaching your toddler to talk at home starts with understanding where they are developmentally, since language is like a dimmer switch that's turned all the way up for some kids and way down for others. Toddlers are also wired to push back on demands, which is why telling them to "say" a word usually backfires. Target a few meaningful words, label what your child is interested in, follow their lead, and build lots of repetition into daily routines. Take the pressure off, wait for them to communicate, and keep it fun. Remember, happy brains are more motivated to learn!

Quick Answers

How can I help my toddler start talking at home? Pick 1-2 meaningful words to target, label things your child is interested in, follow their lead in play, and build lots of repetition into daily routines like meals, bath, and dressing.

Should I tell my toddler to "say" a word? Try not to. Toddlers are wired to push back on demands. Ask instead ("Can you say water?"), take the pressure off, and keep modeling the word clearly.

Why is my toddler not imitating words? Imitation is where many kids get stuck. Pair sounds with gestures during play, use songs and fingerplays, and add the sound to your child's own gestures until they start putting them together.

Get My Free Speech Milestones Checklist

Want to know which skills to work on next? Grab my free Speech Milestones Checklist.

All my best, Jill

Jill Urbane, LCSW, is an early childhood interventionist with nearly three decades of experience working in the homes of families with young children.